That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
