is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
