this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
