my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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