This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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