I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
