Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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