when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
