Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
