You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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