I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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