I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
