i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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