did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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