Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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