What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
