wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
