This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
