Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
