I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
