Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
