Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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