im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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