So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
