News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize