He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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