I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
