fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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