12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
