after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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