So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
BRING THE BAGELS
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
