She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
being pregnant is like rehab
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
