we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
