You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
