you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
