I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
