If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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