try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
