jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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