I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
