you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize