Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
