i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize