I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
