I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
