Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
