It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
