Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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