Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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