Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
