Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
