two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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