all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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