It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
