Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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