why didn't you poke me back
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
