they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
These tits shall not be calmed
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
