I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The air was thick with penises
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How does one acquire holy water?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
