I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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