Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
