Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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